Beers + Bears = Buhhhh...Umm...Brrr....Uhh...Crazy News Story

I couldn't think of a clever way to finish that play on words. But, the point is there was a story in the news today involving a guy, some beer, some bears, and not so happy ending. Here it is:

BELGRADE, Serbia (Reuters) -- A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.

The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.

"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.

Local media reported that police found several mobile phones inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans.

It's morbid, mean and probably wrong on several levels, but am I the only who laughed? I can't help it. Every time I read the story and process the details, I always come to the same conclusion. This guy got so drunk, so incredibly trashed out of his mind that he tried to have a threesome with two bears. Now, I've seen some drunk people in my day. I've seen some people high out of their minds. I've seen people both drunk and high. But I have never ever seen someone so wasted that they tried to sexually force themself onto an enormous, aggressive, carnivorous beast. That was a textbook setup for a fat guy/girl joke here, but I'll pass. Instead, let's revisit the mental image of a drunk guy trying to fuck a bear. Nay, two bears.

But who can blame him? With names like Masha and Misha, the bears were probably hot twins.